


Meet you at the Pond

by fear_her_blurryface



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Car Accidents, sorry I can't tag more because it would spoiler the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 09:54:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9486008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fear_her_blurryface/pseuds/fear_her_blurryface
Summary: Sometimes you have to change your view, to see things right





	

It was a dark stormy night. The rain cracked violently against the windshield of Josh's car, and his windshield wipers were barely able to master the water.But Josh refused to reduce his driving speed. It was only 40 miles to Columbus and he just wanted to go home.  
As he rubbed his eyes tiredly, he saw too late back at the street again, where a truck, who was driving in front of him, slipped and his hanger wiped Josh's car from the street.  
Josh had no chance. Everything went to fast. He could neither use the brake nor deflect. Even before he could form a clear thought, his car rolled over several times and crashed with the drivers side against a tree.

Silence. Darkness. Peace.

 

The first thing he hear after a felt infinity was the monotonous beep of a machine. Somehow the sound annoyed him. What annoyed him, however, was that it was dark. He couldn‘t see a thing. He tried to move and was instantly told by various parts of his body that it wasn‘t a good idea. He growled frustrated.  
A sudden sound made him jump, which he immediately regretted painfully. His brain needed something to perceive the sounds as opening a door. What a door, damn it? He saw nothing but deep darkness. The steps toward him did not help calm him.  
"Oh, Mister Dun, you're awake?" A female voice spoke from nowhere, and Josh was frightened, trying to turn his head in the direction of the voice.  
"Excuse me, Mr. Dun, I did not want to frighten you" said the voice. "I am Doctor Stevenson. You had a heavy car crash and were in a coma for several weeks. "Josh tried to remember but there was nothing."I can not remember" he murmured. "And I can see nothing". He heard Dr. Stevenson clearing her throat and knowing that it was not good. "Mr. Dun, your eyes were affected by the accident. Splinters of the windshield have caused injuries in their face. "" Oh God ... "escaped him. Absent-mindedly, he ran his right hand in the face. He perceived several deep scratches, which he felt on his forehead, his nose, and his right cheek. "So I'm not just blind, but distorted, too?" He asked bitterly. "No" the doctor tried to calm him. The scars will leave minimal traces. But there is no hope for your eyesight." „Anything else I should know?"He asked tonelessly. "You also have 3 broken ribs on the right side, the left leg is broken, and the left shoulder is dislocaded. In addition, the ring and small fingers of your left hand are broken. All the ruptures heal well and will not leave any lasting impairments with appropriate aftercare. "Josh nodded mutely.  
When the doctor had left the room again, tears began to run down Josh's cheeks. He let his head sink back into the pillows, and wished with all his heart that he would never have woken up.  
In the course of the next days the memories of the accident came back. Mostly in the way of nightmares. Over and over again he saw the hanger coming toward him and woke up screaming. These pictures will be forever the last thing he'll ever see, and the despair about it gave him new tears every time. He felt helpless, useless, superfluous.  
His family was infinitely glad that he was alive, but at the thought that from then on he would be nothing more than a burden, made heavy feelings of guilty circling through his mind. He had to remember again, that it would be better to die in the accident than to exist like this. This eternal darkness wasn’t life anymore.  
He had also lost the feeling of day and night, and when he was startled out of restless sleep, he simply stayed in his bed. The only thing that gave him a rough orientation were the food times and his physiotherapy. However, his appetite was limited and he lost more weight than the doctors were fond of.  
That's why they kept an eye out when his siblings brought him a bag from Taco Bell.  
His family was not tired of giving him the courage to tell him about the various tools available to make blind people's lives easier. Even if Josh was interested on the outside, he wondered inwardly what all these tools would cost his family. And again, heavy guilt feelings aroused him. He didn‘t want it. He didn‘t want to be a burden. He didn‘t want to drag his family in financial difficulties.  
When Josh was released from the hospital and came home, he resolved to support his parents at least in the household. In the house, he could move safely, except someone had somewhere left something and Josh stumbled over it. He tried his best to make himself useful, but felt increasingly that his family was more annoyed by his attempts than anything else.  
So he retired to his room for weeks and spent his time in bed to avoid standing in the way.  
Deep inside, he knew that this existence couldn‘t be a permanent solution either. Again his thoughts began to descend into dark depths. It would be the best just to disappear if he hadn‘t managed to die in the accident. He could just leave the house if his parents and siblings were not there. The road to the Rich Street Bridge was still clear in his head, and if he didn’t get hit by a car on the way there, he could just jump off the bridge and it would look like an accident.  
He was torn from his thoughts when he heard a knock at his door. "Come in," he said tiredly. Somebody entered his room and sat on the edge of his bed. "Josh, I wanted to talk about something with you" he heard his mother's voice. He nodded in her direction. She put her hand on his, as she continued: "Your father and I feel that you would do quite well if you were to go to a rehabilitation clinic for the blind. We spoke with the health insurance. They'd take the costs. "Josh sighed. What should he answer? Was there anything else to answer? The decision had been made by his parents long ago. "When I‘ll leave?" He asked softly. "Tomorrow. I'll drive you there“ replied his mother and patted his hand. Josh pulled her away. His mother rose and left the room silent.  
He rolled to a ball and felt tears down his cheeks. The loneliness that he felt caused him almost physical pain. He had really tried everything not to be a burden to his family. He hadn‘t asked for nothing, had eaten as little as possible, drank only water from the bathroom. His thoughts hadn‘t deceived him: he wasn’t the only one who want to disappear, his family wanted it too. That night he dreamed again that the trailer of the truck was approaching him. He had never wished so much to never wake up.  
.  
The rehabilitation clinic was located just outside of Columbus. It consisted of several buildings clustered around a large garden. Josh listened with half an ear when his mother described his new environment. After the registration formalities were completed, Josh was taken to his room. Shortly thereafter, his mother leave him with the promise that they would all come to visit him soon. Josh was blind, but not stupid. And he was not deaf. He could hear from her voice that she was lying. He felt like an unloved and annoying animal that had been deported to the animal shelter.

Josh spent the first weeks drawing a mental map of his new environment. He was helped by an assistant, who showed him all the possibilities to orient himself on the clinic area. At different points on the ground, speaking columns were attached, which were to be communicated where you was. Signs were also attached everywhere, which also contained the inscription to facilitate orientation. Josh also owned a smartphone with voice function so that he had a time announcement and could control various apps by voice.  
He had little contact with other patients and the few conversations he had with some of them did not help to increase his desire for more society. They all lamented about their cruel fate and succumbed to self-pity. Or they complained about the exaggerated care of their relatives. In this point Josh couldn’t complain. He had been right with his impression that his mother had lied. In all the weeks he was here, they didn‘t visited him. He tried to shake off the painful thoughts as he made his way to the garden. In the meantime, his tastestock had become a faithful companion, and his scraping over the gravel of the garden paths had something soothing.  
Josh had discovered a certain part of the garden fo he was heading now.  
In a quiet corner, there was a pond. A weeping willow, letting its branches grow into the water and the wind blowing a melancholy melody through the reeds. Only occasionally interrupted by the splash of a fish that broke through the water surface for a moment. His assistant had led him here in the first week of his stay and described the place to him. But what fascinated Josh most of all was what he felt in this place. Here he felt peace, everything seemed to be perfectly balanced here, as if the universe were a perfect harmony in this quiet place.  
Josh sat down on the bench next to the weeping willow and enjoyed the warm sun that warmed his skin and the gentle wind that stroked his hair. Deep inside he longed for a touch of another human beeing, somebody who loved him despite his handicap. But he knew that no one was interested in 'damaged goods'. No one voluntarily took a bunch of problems into his life. His friends and even his family had turned away from him. He couldn‘t deny this fact. He sighed and surrendered in the thought that only the wind did not deny him a touch.  
Josh jumped when he suddenly heard a shy "Hello". The voice sounded young, quite the opposite of the other voices he was accustomed to. "Excuse me, I did not want to frighten you" the voice shyly continued. Josh was irritated. He had not heard the person coming, though his ears had become very sensitive by his blindness. But he was immediately fascinated by this voice. He was young, dark in a special way, and a sweet melancholy swung in it.  
"Hello" Josh said hoarsely. His vocal chords hadn‘t anything to do for a long time. "Can I sit down with you?" The voice asked cautiously. Even before Josh could think about it, his head nodded approvingly.  
When the young man cautiously sat down beside him on the bench, Josh perceived a scent of cloves and sandalwood that the stranger exhaled. It was not a perfume, but simply the scent of this young man. This increased his fascination only more and he could not help asking: „would you tell me your name?" With a sigh, he replied" My name is Tyler. Tyler Joseph. And what's your name? "" Josh. Josh Dun. "" I'm glad to meet you Josh Dun, "Tyler replied with a smile in his voice."Also, Tyler Joseph," Josh replied with a wide grin. In this moment he realized that it was the first time since the accident he had laughed.  
Both fell back into pleasant silence and quietly enjoyed the presence of each other. Josh would have liked to stay with Tyler forever, but a ringtone of his smartphone reminded him that it was time to get to one of his therapy appointments. With a frustrated groan, Josh rose from the bench. "I'm really sorry, but I have to go to my therapy session." "No problem," Tyler replied. "I've got to go, too." Both stood there for a moment, until Josh gave himself a jerk and cautiously suggested, "Um, if you like, we can meet again tomorrow." "Yes,of course." And he felt a warmth when he heard the joy in Tyler's voice. "Well, then I meet you at the pond, tomorrow" Tyler added, and he heard his steps slowly move away.  
That night, Josh slept surprisingly well and he could hardly wait the next day to meet Tyler. Even before he had arrived at the bank by the pond, he could smell Tyler's scent of carnations and sandalwood.He heard a joyous "Josh" and seconds later he was embraced by his new acquaintance. "Josh, I'm so glad you came." He replied, "Why shouldn‘t I come?" Tyler let go of him and said, "Um, I'm not used to people keeping promises to me "Josh nodded sympathetically. Both took their seats again on the bench. They sat there again for a while and enjoyed the silence. When Tyler put his head on Josh's shoulder, he felt a comfortable feeling in his stomach and leaned his head against Tylers. He lost himself in the feeling he had missed so long, and Tyler seemed to be doing the same, as he was trying to lean more on him. After a while Josh asked: "Tyler? What station are you in? "He could feel his new friend stiffen."Um ... Tyler started. Josh raised his head worried. "Tyler, is everything okay?" He couldn‘t understand why Tyler was so unpleasant with this question. "Um, yes, no. I do not know ... "That confused him all the more. He could hear the fear in Tyler's voice. Before he could say anything, his friend continued, "I've been at the psychiatric ward." Josh could grip Tyler's stress, so he carefully put an arm around his shoulders and felt the softly built young man relax again. "It's all okay" he assured him. "May I ask you what is tormenting you?"  
Josh's understanding gave Tyler courage and he replied, "I have PTSD." Josh nodded and stroked Tyler sympathetically. He had already heard of PTSD and had read some articles about it - when he could still read. Both fell back into silence and listened to the noises around them. Josh hoped that Tyler would tell him one day what was the cause of his PTSD.  
The meeting at the pond became a cherished tradition for Josh and Tyler and soon Josh couldn‘t imagine a life without him. When it was autumn and the weather was sometimes too bad to meet at the pond, the two of them spent their time in the cafeteria of Josh's station. Josh offered Tyler several times to visit him on his station, but his friend always refused. "Why don‘t you want me to visit you at your station?" Josh asked one day. Tyler began restlessly pacing his chair before he answered, "I'm not very popular at my station. And I want to spend as little time there as possible."Josh gaped in suprise. "But how can that be? You're such a wonderful person! I'm so glad to have you as a friend! " "You seem to be the only one, who is thinking that way "sighed Tyler.  
Two days later, Josh was aroused by a gentle knock on his window. According to his mobile phone it was 3 o'clock in the morning. It took him a while to open the window, but when it was open, he heard a heart-rending sob. "Tyler?" He asked uncertainly into the night. "Jooosh" he heard a painful whimper "m-m-may i-i-I come in? It was clearly Tyler; In a terrible state. "Of course" Josh answered immediately. His friend came through the window trembling and was immediately taken by him. Tyler buried his face in Josh's chest and cried his eyes out of his face while his friend tried to calm him. Tyler was still trembling, so Josh put him in his bed, lay down beside him, and pulled the blanket over both of them. Slowly the tremors ebbed as Tyler snuggled to his friend as if his life depended on it. Josh enjoyed Tyler's scent, now joined with the smell of autumn rain. He smirked as he whispered to his ear, "What happened, Tyler?" "Josh, I cannot stand it any longer ... .The flashbacks, the nightmares, the voice in my head ... the fear, the constant Fear ... "and he began to cry again. "I feel so alone ... I'm always alone ..." Josh embraced him even closer, if that was even possible and whispered soothingly in his ear. "Tyler, you're not alone, I'm with you, I will not leave you" But it seemed as if his friend was far away and would not hear him. Somehow they fall asleep.  
When Josh awoke the next morning, Tyler had disappeared. He hoped he could do better. The day promised to be sunny and not too cold, so that the two could meet at the pond again. The nurse who took the morning routine, informed Josh that he should visit the psychiatrist after breakfast. Josh wondered about a little bit, but take a seat in his room some time later. When he had sat down in front of his desk, the latter came to the point without much ado. "Mr. Dun, I've been heared strange stories about you "Josh was totally perplexed. "What strange stories, please?" He asked, now slightly annoyed. "Well, several people have heard you talking to someone who was not there. Mostly at the pond, but you has been talking to somebody in your room last night, the night nurse told me. "Josh began to laugh. That was all so ridiculous .... "I've been talking to someone who was there. And this one is called Tyler Joseph and is a patient like me. "" Is this Tyler Joseph a patient of our ward, Mr. Dun? "" No, he's from the psychiatric ward. We met some time ago at the pond. I honestly do not know why you make such a problem of this. I don‘t know that it‘s forbidden to talk to other patients from different stations." " Of course this is not forbidden, Mr. Dun"the psychologist replied. "And you're absolutely sure that your friend Tyler is called Joseph?" "Do you really think, I‘m stupid ?! Of course, I'm sure! If I didn‘t know better, I'd guess, you want to make me know Tyler is not real. " " Mr. Dun ... "the psychologist started, but Josh had had enough of this shit and left the room. Josh was so angry that he skipped his therapies today, and made his way to the psychiatric ward. He wanted to tell Tyler what this stupid psychologist had tried to tell him.  
When he found the reception, he asked for Tyler. "We have no Tyler Joseph here" answered the nurse. "That cannot be," insisted Josh stubborn. "I'm here in the Psychiatric Station, aren‘t I?" "Yes, you are, but we haven‘t a Tyler Joseph here, I can assure you." "Is there another station who treates PTSD?" Josh wanted to know now. It could have been that he had misunderstood Tyler about the station. "No, it's only our station ... But when you mention the PTSD ... 3 years ago, there was indeed a patient here who was called Tyler Joseph and had PTSD. A real tragic case. "" What do you mean by a tragic case?" Josh asked, confused. The nurse hesitated a moment before she continued: " Mr. Joseph was really a tortured soul. He had a heavy form of PTSD. The poor man had not really had a good life. Parents who have abused him in every conceivable way, and when he went to the army, he was captured by Islamists who were tortured him for weeks until he could be freed by his comrades. He was a completely mess when he arrived here. We've really tried our best to help him but we did not make it. "" What does that mean? "Josh asked cautiously. "Well," the woman said with a sigh, "He has killed himself. Do you know the pond in the back of the garden? He cut his pulse veins open and went into the pond to bleed out. "" Oh my God "Josh whispered."But as I said, it‘s 3 years ago now, and we have no other Tyler Joseph at the moment." "Okay," Josh said, leaving the ward.  
He felt strange. His whole body felt numb. His brain was not capable of a clear thought. Without realizing it, he had gone to the pond. He slumped onto the bench, dropped his head back, and closed his eyes.  
He must have fallen asleep, as a gentle touch of his cheek aroused him. The scent of cloves and sandalwood hung in the air and Josh clasped instinctively the body that stood in front of him and snuggled his head against Tyler's belly. His friend smiled softly and stroked his hair. "Oh my God Tyler, I was so concerned about you," Josh muttered. "Hey, it's all okay. I thought it would be confusing if the nurse had found us in bed in the morning. Thank you, be here for me last night, Josh. "" Anytime, Tyler. "His friend broke away from Josh's embrace, took a seat beside him on the bench, and leaned his head against his shoulder. "Confusing, is the word of the day, somehow," Josh began. "What do you mean?" Tyler asked. "Well," he continued, telling his friend all the events of the morning. Regrettably, Josh didn‘t notice his friend getting tense. "… I do not understand any of this. They all pretend, that you were not real ...“ Tyler jumped up from the bench without warning and growled angrily:" And Josh ?! Are you happy now? I told you - no, even begged you not to go to the psychiatric ward. I told you that I cannot stand there. "Josh was completely frightened. He had never experienced Tyler like this before. He began pacing up and down the bank like a nervous animal in a cage. Tyler laughed bitterly as he continued, "And Josh?! What did you come to? Am I real? "Josh began to tremble. That was all too much for him. He was totally overwhelmed with the whole situation. "Am I real for you?" Tyler continued with a menacing voice. "Ty-Tyler, you're frightening me ..." Josh started and only reaped an angry snort. "Answer my question, Josh" "I- I .. don’t know .." "So, you don‘t know? YOU DON‘T KNOW !!! " " Tyler, please ... "Josh whimpered but it was too late."You're not different than everyone else. They all just used me and kicked me out of their lives like a piece of rubbish. And you know what? I deserve it. Because I just don‘t want to understand that I'm just a piece of shit! "" Tyler no, you are ... "Josh started desperately, but Tyler interrupted him." Let it be, Josh. Save me your lies. I don‘t want to hear your excuses. It is really regrettable that there are only two idiots who tell you that I do not exist, and you are all too willing to believe them. What that say about our friendship Josh, huh? "" Tyler, it does ... "Josh tried again."I wish you a nice life, Josh.  
I'm done with you "" Tyler, NO!!! Josh called desperately, "Tyler please, I'm so sorry!!! It was not meant like this! You are my best friend! Please don‘t leave me alone! "But there was only silence.  
Tears ran down Josh's cheeks and it hurt so much to know that he had lost his only friend because of a few stupid doubts. But he could only blame himself. Why the hell, had he let himself be influenced by the stupid babble of the psychologist? He really deserved this disaster.

When he returned to the his station, he was troubled because he had missed his therapies. But he didn‘t care. He retreated to his room and tortured his brain, if there was still hope to win Tyler again. He had to try it anyway. He didn‘t want and couldn‘t give up onTyler.  
That night he dreamed of his accident again. That wasn’t happening in the whole weeks when he was together with Tyler. When the nurse came to the room, she told Josh he was looking pretty bad. "Then I can be glad that I'm blind, huh?" he replied snappily. He let his therapies go on without showing any real interest, and he took the first opportunity to make his way to the pond in the desperate hope that he would meet Tyler there and speak to him. He sat down on the bench and waited. Only the wind was blowing, through the reeds, and the last dried leaves rustled on the trees. Josh didn‘t know how long he'd been sitting there when he whispered softly, "Tyler, please ... I'm so incredibly sorry." He waited. No Answer. Not the smallest hint of carnations and sandalwood in the air.  
The days dragged on. Comfortless, Meaningless. Only on the fringe, Josh noticed, that the rest of the world moved around for Christmas. Before his accident, he had loved Christmas. All the beautiful lights and the funny Christmas backing with his siblings. All over. Christmas would now remain as dark and cold for him as the rest of the year. His family had not reported to him all the time. None of them. And he had full understanding that they wouldn‘t want him around Christmas either. Perhaps they had long forgotten about him. And maybe that was better.

Every day he went to the pond. Every day he whispered an apology into the wind. Every day he received no answer. The feeling of solitude was devastating.  
Josh had stopped eating some time ago. Not that he didn‘t want it. He only forgot it all the time. And if his snarling stomach reminded him, he took note of it, but then forgot it, again. He had locked himself into his own world of thoughts, so that one day, he find himself in the room of the psychologist, again. "Mr. Dun, we're seriously worried about you, "he began. "Well, I‘m not. "Josh replied snappily. "Why did you think like that?" The psychologist wanted to know. Josh just shrugged. "Mr. Dun, I think you don‘t understand the gravity of the situation. You have lost lots of weight in the last few weeks. That's already bordering on self-destructive behavior. "" Aha. " The psychologist sighed. "Mr. Dun, if you don‘t talk to me, I see myself forced to move you to the psychiatric ward, because we cannot guarantee your safety here anymore. "" Well, then have you to do it, "Josh said dryly. He would never let this guy manipulate him again. For a second, he thought Tyler would be proud of him.  
Half an hour later, Josh found himself at the psychiatric ward.  
After he had been sent to his room, he was already sitting next to another psychologist. "Well Mr. Dun, my colleague said you had changed to your disadvantage in the last few weeks." "I'd rather say my life has changed to my disadvantage since my accident. Her colleague probably didn‘t notice this, "Josh replied provocatively. "Now Mr. Dun, that's why you are here. We all want to help you, to get to grips with this new situation. "Josh sniffed contemptuously," The only one who helped me here, is gone because I had listened to your colleague's moron. So don‘t tell me you want to help me. "" Now Mr. Dun, I see you are upset. I think it's better in this situation that we continue our conversation at another time. "" And I think it's better if we didn‘t continue at any time "Josh was brought back to his room. He knew he couldn‘t leave the station for the first three days, and that annoyed him massively. But what was could he do? He was taken out of the room by a groom at all meals, who ensured that he ate. His cell phone had been equipped with his new therapy plan and he just told him that he has Group therapy in 5 min. He hoped he could avoid the matter, but a carer made sure that he took part in it.  
Josh was glad when the day was finally over. His new fellow patients were already annoying him. He had no sympathy with anyone he had heard today. He could understand Tyler that he felt so uncomfortable. He wondered where he was. Whether he was still angry with him. Slowly Josh fell asleep.  
The next morning he met an old friend. When the nurse entered his room, Josh heard her say, "Well, I know you, young man." It took him a while to realize that it was the woman who told him the story of Tyler, some time ago. "Yes, so we meet each other, again," he said, embarrassed, making a smile. "What a coincidence," she continued. When she finished with the morning routine, she said, "Do you know what‘s a coincidence, too? Do you remember the story of Tyler Joseph I told you? "Josh nodded."This was his room, then. And now you live here. Oh, by the way, did you fond your Tyler Joseph? "Josh shook his head. "I'm sorry," she said, and patted him cheerfully on the shoulder before she left his room again. Josh felt strange. Could this be all coincidence? That all confused him somehow. He dragged through the day and avoided contact with the other patients. When he was lying in his bed in the evening, he tried to imagine Tyler in his room. In his bed. Alone and desperate. He missed him. He thought back to the night, when Tyler had climbed through the window and as they were lying in his bed together. Tyler was so fragile. So vulnerable. What had he done ... Slowly, his eyes closed. In his sleep he began to cry. He dreamed that someone gently stroked his cheeks. The next morning he could have swear that he could smell a faint scent of carnations and sandalwood in his room.  
He was torn from his thoughts when the nurse entered his room. "Good morning Mr. Dun, I hope you slept well?" With pleasure Josh realized that it was again his friend. "Yes I have. Uh, please call me Josh, if that's okay for you. "He heard a chuckle before she said,"It violates hospital guidelines actually, but when we're among us nobody knows. I'm Dora, by the way. "" Nice name, "Josh replied with a smile. "Well, Josh, what did you plan for the holidays?" He let his head hang. "I think nothing," he replied. "Oh." He heard Dora. "Hey Josh, you know what? I am also there over the holidays. If you want, we can gave us company to each other. "" Yeah, that would be nice. "Josh replied gratefully. "I’m sure your family isn‘t so enthusiastic that you have to work over the holidays, isn’t it?" Josh asked in a glimpse of curiosity. Dora sighed, "I have no family that could be disappointed. So I've been doing all the holiday layers for years, from Christmas to New Year. "" Is that supposed to be you were all the days here, 24 hours? "" Yes. You could almost say I'm temporarily moving in, here "she replied with a laugh. "So Josh, I have to go further. We'll see us later. You use an interesting perfum.  
It smells weakly of carnations and sandalwood. It reminds me of something, I just cannot get on it, actually "she announced, tapping him on the shoulder again and left his room.  
Joshs jaw dropped down. He hadn‘t just imagined the scent. Dora had also noticed it. Dora ... he couldn‘t help but feel a certain admiration for her. Before he came to think of Tyler, he was accompanied by a carer for breakfast. Absently, he chewed on a toast when his cell phone told him that he had a single talk with the psychologist in 15 minutes. "They really know how they can mess up my day, 'he thought to himself.

"Now Mr. Dun, how did you get used to our station?" The psychologist asked introspectively. Josh shrugged. "Well, I've talked to my colleague from your old station in the meantime. He told me that you were being watched by different people, talking to someone who was not there. A certain Tyler Joseph. "Josh made no effort to reply. "Mr. Dun, do you still hear this Tyler Joseph? "Josh was still silent. "Mr. Dun, I just want to help you. I want to help you to understand that this imaginary friend is just a part of your PTSD. This Tyler Joseph isn‘t real. "" If you say that, it will probably be so. "Josh replied annoyed. "What I'm asking myself, are you real?" This left the psychologist speechless for a moment. "I can assure you I'm real, Mr. Dun." "Fine," Josh replied. "Are we done here?" "Not quite, Mr. Dun. I prescribe you some meds for remedy for hallucinations. This will help you to deal better reality. "Josh laughed sarcastically" A great idea. If it helps me not to notice you anymore, it would make me really happy. "With that Josh rose and left the room.  
There was a lot of activity in the hallway, as many patients set off for Christmas holidays. Josh's exit lock was lifted and so he immediately took the opportunity to escape the chaos on station and made his way out. Surprised, he found that it was snowing when the first snowflakes landed on his face. The crunch of the snow under his feet made him smile. He liked the sound. Before he sat down on the bench by the pond, he stroked off the snow. That didn‘t prevent his jeans from being wet in seconds, but that‘s didn‘t bother him. In fact, Josh didn‘t have any winter clothes. He had been unloaded here in the summer, and the warmest thing he possessed was his two hoodies and his Hoddie jacket. And his two pairs of sneakers, which he had with him, weren‘t that good for walking through the snow. He wished he had his Doc Martens there. He stayed for a while and listened to the trickle of snow. When he couldn‘t bear the cold any longer, he rose slowly and whispered, "Tyler, I think you were with me last night. Tyler please. I miss you. Forgive me, please come back. "He sighed and made its way back to the station.  
When Josh walked through the entrance, he heard Dora say amusedly, "Josh, my goodness, you look like a snowman!" He heard her footsteps, and seconds later Dora wiped off the snow from his clothes with a laugh. He couldn‘t help but laugh, too and shook his head to sprinkle Dora with the water drops in his hair. She squealed and said, "Well wait, that gives revenge!" And seconds later he felt a fine water mist from a spray bottle. He squealed, too, and said with a laugh: "Okay, okay. I surrender."  
Doras laugh died a little bit as she asked, "Tell me, did you have any winter clothes with you, Josh?" "No," he replied, ashamed. "I wish I had my Doc Martens here, at least." "Don‘t worry about it. I would suggest, at first you peel yourself out of your wet clothes and take a hot shower and I will see what I can do for you with the winter clothes" " Thank you, Dora, "Josh replied. "Never mind. Oh, what do you have for a shoe size? "" 42 "" Okay, then I know. I'll come over after supper, if you want. "" Of course, "Josh said, grinning.  
When he’s hearing a soft knock at his door, he calling "Come in". Dora came in with a bunch of clothes and put it on the bed. "So Josh," she began, "I've got for you:" A black parker with a gray artificial fur on the hood, then a red and black beanie, a black knit sweater with a white 58 at the front and two white lines on the upper arms.  
And last but not least a pair of black Doc Martens "" Wow " Josh replied."Well then try the things on" "What? A fashion show? "Josh asked mischievously."Sure, I want to know, if the clothes are fitting you" Dora giggled. When Josh grabbed the sweater, Dora pulled her cell phone out of her smock and "I'm too sexy" by Right said Fred filled the room. Josh broke into laughter, but picked up the subject and began to walk up and down the room in catwalk style. Dora was laughing with tears in her eyes as Josh makes another posing at each turn, and he obviously had fun because he grinned from one ear to the other. The boots were the last at the end of the show, and Josh noticed that they had no use marks. "And?" Asked Dora, when the song and fashion show were over, "does everything fit?" "Yeah, perfectly.But the Boots… Dora, they're new, aren‘t they?" "Yes, they are" she admitted. "Did you bought them for me?" "Yes," she replied hesitantly. Josh was overwhelmed. His eyes were moist and he could not help but hug Dora. "Thank you, thank you, Dora," he said, pressing her to himself. "Nothing to thank for. Merry Christmas, Josh“ He let go of her and said sulkily," That's unfair, I have nothing for you. "" Josh, you did. "" What? "He asked confused. "For me, it's a gift you're here, that you're alive, and most of all, you can laugh again." Josh was baffled.  
After a while he said, "You are the only one, besides Tyler, who treats me like a normal person. And the last time I had this much fun as with you today, I had before my accident. "" I'm glad, Josh, "she said gently. "I'm sorry but I still have to look at the other patients, but if you want, you can sit down with me in the TV room later and we can talk." Josh nodded and found himself there 45 minutes later.  
When Josh entered the TV room, he heard Dora say, "Here I am" and followed the voice to a table and sat down beside her. The TV ran quietly in the background. "I hope I do not look like a clown" he said. "Um, why?" She asked, puzzled."I do not see the colors of the clothes I wear." "Ah, excuse me, that was really a stupid question." "Nothing to worry about" waved Josh. "You do not look like a clown, by the way. You have a silvery jogging trousers and a white T-shirt with black zig-zag lines. "I'm relieved, to hear that" he said with a smile. "But I had an idea how we could fix this problem." "Really?" "Yes, really. We could create a color code for your things. For example, A triangle for black, a circle for white, and so on. I could sew it into the labels of your things so you can feel it. Then you would always know, what you're wearing for a combination of colors." " That's a great idea" Josh replied enthusiastically."Um, but this is a bunch of work and I don‘t believe, that's a part of your job." She patted his hand as she said "No, it‘s not. But it helps your well-being, then it‘s medically necessary to use the specialist language. And apart from that, I want to do it for you. Just to see you smile." "Thank you very much. You're a real tresure, Dora" Josh said gratefully. "No I'm not. I'm just me.“ The sadness in her voice wasn‘t to be obeyed for Josh. He tilted his head and looked worried at her. "Dora, why do you value yourself so low? You really are a special person. I didn‘t even meet anyone who was like you." She sighed and answered "To name things right, Josh: I don‘t think you're even noticed me before your accident. I haven‘t nothing at me, you could describe as beautiful. I am only an ordinary person who perishes in the masses. On some days, even the automatic doors ignore me and I run against it. "Josh didn‘t know what to say. Then he asked, "Um, I would like to convince myself. Can I touch your face? " " Um, I don‘t know ... "she began hesitantly. On the other hand, she knew that Josh had no other way to get a picture of her. So she said with a sigh: "Okay" she took his hands and led them to her face. Josh beganscan her face, cautiously. Forehead, eyebrows, nose, lips, chin. He could feel her tension. "You have beautiful lips," he said gently as he lowered his hands. "Charmur" she replied with a smile.  
They set about designing Josh's color code, which didn‘t take long because his clothes were mostly black, gray, red, or white.  
. "So my dear," she said, when they were done, "and now it‘s time for you to go to bed." Josh pulled a pout and said, "What, now?" Dora laughed: "It's already 1 o'clock in the morning." "Really?" "Yes, really. So off into the dreamland with you" " Yes, Momma" said Josh laughing. "What?! Momma?! Do I have to get the spray bottle again?“ She threatened, laughing. "No no. Have already gone " Josh said defeated. He heard paper rustling and said, "Do you have anything else to do?" "Hm yes, paperwork. But it takes not long, anymore. Then I'll go to sleep as well, till some kind of emergency did wakes me up, again." " Then I wish you a good night and beautiful dreams, "said Josh gently."Same for you, Josh" she replied. Josh hadn‘t even noticed how tired he really was. As soon as his head touched the pillow of his bed, he had fallen asleep.  
He dreamed of Tyler. He laughed, leaned against his shoulder, told him something, and then he had suddenly disappeared. Josh woke up with a heavy heart. Again the scent of carnations and sandalwood lay in the air. He shook his head. "Tyler, why are you doing this with me?" He muttered. He jerked as he heared a knock at the door. "Good Morning Josh" he heard Dora say as she entered his room. He yawned as answer. "Aha I guess, someone is still not properly awake" she teased him. He made a pout and she laughed. When she measured his blood pressure, she said, "Oh, I remembered the same smell of your perfume. Tyler used the same." Josh nodded. "You still have 15 minutes to breakfast. Don‘t force me to come back with the spray bottle." " I would never dare ", Josh replied with a smile. "Dora?" "Yes?" "Is it okay if I went for a walk after breakfast?" "Of course. But do me a favor and bring me your clothes before you go, so I can begin to seize the symbols." " I'll do it, "he promised.  
After breakfast, Josh began to look for his clothes. As he opened a drawer of the closet, it slipped out completly and landed on the floor. "Damn," he cursed. As he tried to hang them back, he felt something on the bottom of the drawer. Josh loosened the object and tapped it. It felt like a USB stick. He put the item on the table next to the cupboard and hung up the drawer again. When he had packed his clothes in a travel bag, he pushed the item into his pocket and made his way to Dora, whom he met in the nursing room. She took the bag from him and was surprised when he stopped in the doorway. "Is there anything else, Josh?" "Um," he began hesitating. "Dora, I found something in the room before." He told her the whole thing, then pulled the item out of the bag. "You're right, Josh. It's really a USB stick, "she noted. "What do you think of whom he is?" "I have no idea. But we can take a look tonight"  
Josh spent most of his day outside. He turned a big round through the garden and sat down again to the bank at the pond. He still felt a kind of peace in this place, even though he had lost Tyler. On a whim, he built two small snowmen and placed them on the bench. Among them, he wrote in the snow: Tyler & Josh. Then he went back tot he station.  
He arrived frozen at the ward. Dora came to meet him. Meanwhile he recognized her by her steps. "Joshua William Dun. Hot shower. Now!“ she commanded. "Mam, yes Mam." He replied and saluted. "Had no other plans, Mam" "Very well," she replied with a laugh and patted him on the shoulder.  
When Josh came to his room, he found some of his belongings lying on the bed. He smiled as he stroked over it. It hurt him in a way that Dora had no one, even though she was such a dear soul. In the end, she was like him. They were both alone. He sighed and went to the bathroom. After dinner, he washed a laundry and met Dora again in the TV room. As he sat down to her, she said, "Two more T-shirts and I'm done with your stuff." "Thank you again. You're a real treasure." „Nothing to thank"she waved. Both sat silently side by side until Dora has finished."Let's find out what's on the USB stick?" She asked. Josh nodded. He heard a laptop go up and a click of a computer mouse. "Um, it looks like a sound file," Dora noted. She opened it and the first sounds of a ukulele sounded from the laptop. Dora gasped. Even before he could ask her what was going on, he froze when he heard the singer's first words: "I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath ..." "Oh my God," he whispered. This voice he would recognize everywhere. It was his Tyler, who sang, and when he correctly assessed Doras reaction, it was her Tyler, too. They both listened to the song, and neither of them dared to take a breath. "I wanna be known by you, I wanna be known by you ..." The last sounds of the ukulele subsided. Josh was still paralyzed. Then a soft sobbing besides him made him snap out of it. Cautiously, he stroked Dora's cheek and felt her tears running down his fingers. "I couldn‘t save him ... Why couldn‘t I save him?" She whispered barely audibly. Without warning, she jumped up and rushed out of the TV room.  
When Josh reached the hall, he couldn‘t hear Dora anywhere. Slowly he walked along the doors. Behind a narrow door, which was probably a bunk, he heard a low whimper. He said softly, "Dora? Hey, It’s me. Josh." The whimper fell silent and the door opened slowly. "Excuse me" he heard her broken voice "I didn‘t want you ..." In this moment, Josh hugs her and hold her tight. When she burst into tears again, he began to weigh her gently, and gave her a soft kiss on her cheek. "Hey it's okay" he tried to calm her down. "Unfortunately, you can just see people before their head and not into it. I'm sure you've done everything to help Tyler." He began to stroke her hair. The first time he consciously perceived her body. She has a chubby stature and was smaller than him, which was a kind of art since Josh was only 1.65 m tall. He was painfully aware that with her statement she was probably right when she told him he'd ignored her if he could see. How stupid he was. He had to got blind just to realize that other things were more important. And he had to admit himself that he enjoyed her soft body. She smelled of bergamot and roses.  
She slowly pulled away from him and muttered, "Thank you Josh." "Always" he said gently, smiling. They both went back to the TV room. When she implied to close the laptop, she was interrupted by Josh who asked "Would you mind to put the song to my smartphone?" "No." She said softly, took Josh's cell phone and copied the song. "I have other songs from him, too" she suddenly admitted. "Really?" "Yes. When he was here, he often played on his ukulele. I liked to listen to him. The lyrics were special, but I liked them. They gave you the feeling that you were not alone with some thoughts. "Josh nodded. "You really liked him, didn‘t you?" "It's not easy to explain," she began. "Yes, I liked him. But not in this attractive or even sexual way. I have loved his way of being, his soul. He was really a special person. "" Well, would you copy his other songs to my cell phone, too? " I've already done this" she answered with a muffled smile. "I think you are one of the few who are able to understand his lyrics"  
Shortly after, they wished a good night to each other and Josh retired to his room.  
When he was lying on his bed, he really came to think about what the events of tonight meant to him. His Tyler was also Doras Tyler. Tyler had taken his life three years ago, in the pond they had met for the first time. Actually, they had always met at the pond and the couple of times in the cafeteria - and then that was one night. With that night it was definitely something and he knew he could only ask Dora about it. But could he really? How would she react if he told her that her Tyler is also his Tyler? Would she think he was crazy? But something said to him, deep inside him that if anyone ever understood him, it was Dora. When Josh was falling asleep, a figure came out of the darkness of the room, sat down at Josh's bed, and gently stroked his hair. Tyler smiled as his fingers ran through the curls of his sleeping friend.  
Josh doesn‘t wondered anymore the next morning that he perceived the scent of carnations and sandalwood, again. The only thing that really hurt him was that Tyler was still not talking to him. With a sigh, he stood up and shuffled into the bathroom. When he was about to brush his teeth, he heard Dora call his name. "In the bathroom" he called back and got an "Okay" in response. As he entered the room again, Dora wished him a good morning and began the morning routine. "Dora, I would like to talk about something with you" he began. She stopped in her movements and answered hastily, "Josh, I'm sorry about yesterday, my behavior was unprofessional ..." "Wait, what?" He interrupted. "For God's sake, no! I didn‘t want to speak about this. And what mean unprofessional?! Under your sisters' cloak, you're a human beeing, like everyone else."" Yes, but ... "" No. And if you try to excuse again, for having feelings, then I'll get the spray bottle and believe me, I'll use it "he said, with an sternly voice. "Okay, I got it" she laughed. "What will you going to talk to me about?" "Well, it's complicated" Josh began hesitantly. "And it's not explained in two sentences either." "Okay," Dora replied. "Then I would suggest tonight in the TV room? Or is this to late for you? "" No, it‘s okay."  
Josh knew that Dora had little time during the day, as she managed the station alone. So he went for a stroll into the garden after the breakfast. After his obligatory round, he finished again at the pond and sat down on the bench. He takes his cell phone with headphones and opened the file with Tyler's songs. Dora hadn‘t promised too much. His songs were really remarkable and Josh liked them right away.  
Back on the station, he heated up again under the shower. Then he lay down on the bed and listened to the songs again. He must have fallen asleep, as a gentle stroke on his shoulder took him out of his dreams cautiously. As he opened his eyes, he heard Dora gently say, "Well, pretty sleeper, in a few minutes there will be dinner." "Hm, thank you Dora," Josh replied and began to stretch. Even before he was finished, he heard his room door shut softly. After dinner, Josh decided to stay in the TV room. Half-hearted, he listened to the news of some crises in the world. In the background, he heard Dora talk to another patient and then move away. He tried to prepare himself internally to explain to Dora the whole thing with Tyler. He was so lost in thought that he was startled as Dora slumped on the couch beside him. "Oh, excuse me Josh, I didn‘t want to frighten you" "It’s okay. I must have been quite spaced out. I didn‘t hear you." " I brought you a cola“ and she put the bottle on his right thigh, so he knew where to grab it. "Thank you." "You're welcome" Dora said. "So Josh, what did you want to talk to me about?" He ran nervously through his hair as he answered, "Tob e honest, I’m a bit afraid to talk about it." "Why?" Dora asked. "I'm afraid you could think, I’m nuts." "Do you trust me?" "Yes" he replied. "I trust you, too" Josh breathed deeply and began to tell. Dora didn‘t interrupt him. When Josh easily began to tremble, she gently took his right hand into hers and stroked his back with her thumb. "Do you think I'm crazy?" He asked, when he had finished. "No" she answered simply as she tried to sort the mass of information. Josh suddenly burst into tears and sobbed, "I don‘t know what it all means, Dora." "Well.." she replied, taking him in her arms before she continued: "You seem to mean something to him , otherwise he wouldn‘t have contacted you. Perhaps it was your deep loneliness, that he felt. Tyler was lonely all his life. At some point it became his firm conviction that he had deserved it. And the fact that you're blind has probably made it possible for him to speak to you. "Josh nodded and muttered, "When you explain it, like this it sounds so logical." Dora smiled softly. "Well, what is logic or reality? Reality is nothing more than the sum of our sensory impressions and logic is nothing more than the miserable attempt of our brain to explain these sensory impressions." "Wow“ Josh said. "Can I quote that at my next appointment with the psychologist?" "You can do it, as long you don‘t tell him you heared this from me" She released the embrace and continued: "And that is the point, I think. Your changed perception has created another reality in which Tyler is possible to be real to you. For all the others it looked like you were talking to a non-existent person. "I'd have to known it before" Josh sighed. "You didn‘t have a chance to know it earlier. You also couldn‘t know that Tyler suffered a lot of time about, not to be seen. And when you told him about the matter with your psychologist, it was exactly that point he had feared the most. And all this led to a very fatal chain reaction from misunderstandings. Do you remember when Tyler came to see you in your room? "" Um, that must have been around 25.10, why? "" I thought. Tyler has taken his life in the night from the 25th to the 26.10. " " Oh my God. And the next day, I suggest I doubt his existence... "Josh laid his head on Doras shoulder and she put her arm around him as she replied," Josh again, it's not your fault. It is not Tyler's fault either. It was a concatenation of really stupid circumstances. And I am now absolutely certain that you are here on the station for a certain reason; In his old room, you'll find his USB stick, etc. This is no coincidence anymore. "" Not to forget that we've met, "Josh noted. "Um, Yes. And I will not get rid of the feeling that it was not everything. As strange as the circumstances may be, I am glad to have met you. You're really special, Josh." "I can only return that" he replied. "Oh no, it's just..." "No," Josh interrupted. "You take the compliment now. I just mention the spray bottle "Dora burst out laughing and Josh couldn‘t help but laugh, too. They sat silent for a while, enjoying the presence of the other before they both retired to go to sleep in their rooms.  
When Josh was lying in his bed, he let the conversation about Tyler review again. He felt so relieved that he could talk about the matter with Dora, without her being mistaken. "She's really special," he whispered into the darkness of his room. "Yes, she is" Tyler's voice replied. Josh almost fell out of bed. "Tyler," Josh called in suprise. "Yes it's me. Josh, I'm sorry I was such an idiot. I shouldn‘t have left my anger at the world on you. Can you forgive me? "" Yes, yes! I'm so glad you're back and talking to me. "Josh was sitting on the bed, meanwhile, stretching out a hand to Tyler, which he grabbed, and Josh pulled him into a hug from which he'd never want to let him go. Some time later they cuddled side by side in bed and Tyler sang Josh to sleep.  
The next morning, Tyler was gone again, but this time Josh knew he would return, that now everything was all right again between them. There was a smile on his face that couldn‘t be brighter. In this moment, Dora appeared in his room and said, laughing, "You seem to have a very good morning, Josh. You grin like a Cheshire cat" "I had a rather good night" Josh replied. "Um, and what was the reason?" „Tyler was there, Dora! I'm so happy!" Suddenly he heard something rattling. "Dora, is everything okay?" He asked worried. "Yes everything is okay. Something just slipped out of my hand" she said apologetically. "We spoke up and he stayed with me until I felt asleep. I missed all this, Dora. And now everything's all right." "I'm glad for you, "she said gently. Josh didn‘t realize the sad undertone in his feeling of joy. When he realized it, Dora was through the door already.  
After breakfast, Josh tried to find Dora, but had no success. So he starts to his garden round-trip. Even when he returned to the station for lunch, he couldn‘t find her. Meanwhile, from his premonition that something was wrong, he had become certainty. Frustrated, he dropped onto the bed and sighed in the pillow. "Did something happen?" He heard Tyler, feeling his hand on his back. "I think so" growled Josh. "I just don‘t know what. I told Dora this morning about us and she was happy for us. But I didn‘t realize in time, that her voice had a sad undertone. I wanted to ask her if everything was okay, but she seems to get out of my way, somehow." "Oh" Tyler said. "Um, Dora is a sad and lonely soul deep inside. I think that is why we have been so harmonious when I was still alive. She was my only friend here." Josh nodded. "She misses you Tyler. She really loves you. And she still reproaches herself because she couldn‘t save you." „Really? After all this time? Nobody could save me. The whole love of this world is not enough to save someone who cannot love himself." „Do you repent it?" Josh asked cautiously. "My suicide? No. I had no one and nothing to lose. The world didn‘t care if I existed or not." "But Dora did care" Josh countered. "I would have dragged Dora into my abyss, and she'd even voluntarily follow me into that darkness. No one else deserved this. I wanted to finish it all. I finally wanted to find peace. Unfortunately, this didn‘t work out that way either." "I always thought that after death you would come to the hereafter. You know, the tunnel into the light "said Josh. Tyler laughed bitterly. This may be true of those who die a natural death, but not for suicide. We are condemned to remain in a kind of intermediate space." "Is there no way to get you out of this intermediate world?“  
" Yes, there are. A soul who have compassion for me can take me with them on their way to the beyond. Well, and who should that be? "Josh didn‘t know what to answer. After a while he said softly, "I'd take you with me." Tyler gently stroked his hair and said, "You have to live your life. And if you as an old man surrounded by your children and grandchildren, leaving this life and remembering me, I would be very grateful to you, of course "  
"Sure, as if the wreck who I am is wanted by someone. Which woman voluntarily binds a blind clod to her leg. Not even my own family wants me anymore, "muttered Josh. "I'm sorry. But I'm sure that a warm-hearted person like you will find someone who will love you exactly for it. "" If you take warmth as the basis, then Dora would have to be married to Prince Charming. "Tyler laughed. "She would have deserved it" he added. Josh's cell phone beeped. "Ah, it's time for dinner. I have to go. Are you still there when I come back? "" If not, I'll come back later, "Tyler replied. Josh nodded, swinging his legs from the bed and trotting toward the door.  
As he sat at dinner, he heard Dora pass by, surrounded by a scent of bergamot and roses. "Dora, wait, please." She stopped and asked, "What can I do for you, Josh?" "Dora, is everything all right with you?" "What should not be okay?" Josh could hear the tension in her voice. "Dora, please." "Josh, you don‘t have to worry about me. This is a waste of time and not your job." "Why are you suddenly so dismissive to me? Have I done something wrong?" "No, you didn‘t do anything wrong. It's up to me. "She gently put her hand on his shoulder and added" Josh you're a wonderful and warm-hearted person. Don‘t let anybody talk about you otherwise. Never forget that.“ Before he could say anything, Dora had gone.  
But Josh didn‘t want to give up and went after her. He took her hand and pulled her into his room. The scent of carnations and sandalwood lay heavy in the air. "Josh I have no time. Today is New Year's Eve and tomorrow the other patients come back and I have a bunch to do. "He felt her hand tremble. "Then tell me at least what‘s going on." Her tremble grew stronger and she replied in a quivering voice: "Okay, if you really want to know it so stubbornly: I ... I, um ... feel mo ... more f ... for y ... You as i ... I… s ... should. Um ... And I know ... that's stupid of me because you've deserved something better and a better friend like Tyler I cannot be to you. "Josh‘s jaw dropped. He hadn‘t expected this. "So if you excuse me now, I have a bunch to do." She turned away and left his room.  
Josh was paralyzed. "Wow" he heard Tyler say as he sat down beside him on the bed. "I can tell you" Josh replied, slowly coming down from his shock. "And?" "And what?" Tyler grinned. "Well, what do you think about her?" "Honestly, I don‘t know." "Oh." "Don‘t get me wrong, she's a great person and I've never met anyone like her, but I'm not sure if it‘s not just gratitude that I feel for her. I'm not sure, too if she feels only compassion for me. "" Joshua William Dun, you're a fool, "Tyler announced. "What ?!" "Do you seriously believe she feels for you this way? Did you ever feel like she was talking to you like this? "" No, "Josh admitted. "She is the only one, apart from you, who treats me like a normal person." "I think the same" agreed Tyler. "Because the other thing, I'm afraid to think about it." "I understand you, Josh. You have to know by yourself, whether Dora is worth thinking about it, or not. No matter what result you get. "" Hm, you‘re right."  
Tyler had disappeared and Josh dropped onto the bed and began to torture his brain. He thought back to the evenings, thinking about what Dora had done for him. He remembered how it had felt when he held her in his arms. He realized that he liked Dora more than he wanted admit to himself. He had never thought about it, because he was convinced that no one wanted him anymore. "I said you're a donkey," he heard Tyler. "Thank you very much. Here we are probably two donkeys in this room. "" Jepp "Tyler noted and snuggled to his friend in the bed. "Tell Dora on my part, a man can never have enough friends. Josh took the opportunity to talk to Dora the next day. He felt so deep asleep that he didn‘t hear the fireworks that lit the sky above Columbus at midnight.  
The next morning he could hardly wait until Dora came to his room in the morning. So he was frightened when a strange voice wished him a good morning. "Did something happen to Dora?" He asked, slightly panicky. "Happens? No, Mr. Dun. Sister Dora had layering this morning. She's free for the next three days. "" Oh, okay "Joshs heart sank. Three days without her. He didn‘t want to imagine that. So he left for the pond immediately after breakfast. When he sat down on the bench, Tyler tapped him on the thigh and asked, "And, did you talk to Dora?" "No, unfortunately not. She had layering this morning. And now she has three days off. "" I know where she lives, "said Tyler. "Really?" "Yes. Shall I take you? "" Sure, but how do you know? "Josh wanted to know. "I was at her flat when I was still alive. She offered me to get to her when I couldn‘t stand it at the unit and she has days off. "" And did you often accept her offer? "" Yes, every time, to be honest. "" And what did you do then? "" I usually had my ukulele with me and played or I simply slept on her couch for a few hours. I could hardly sleep on the unit, but I felt safe with Dora. She lives here at the clinic area, in the nursing home. "  
It took some time for the two to reach the building, as Josh had never gone that way. When they were at the entrance, Tyler described Josh the position of her bell and where he would find her apartment.  
When he was outside her door, he heard music from the inside of her apartment. Did Dora play guitar? He waited until she had finished and rang the bell. When the door opened, Dora said," Okay I’ll stop to playing my u…Josh?" Oh, I'm sorry, I just cannot wait to talk to you, and to see you...and… "" Okay,come in, "she interrupted, taking him by the hand and leading him to her couch. "Would you like a coffee?" "Yes," he replied, and she disappeared into the kitchen to come back a few minutes later with two steaming cups, milk and sugar in the living room. "Well, what about you want to talk to me so badly, that Tyler brought you here?" "You know it was Tyler?" He asked baffled. "Who else? He is the only one who knows where I live, and no one would have given you my address at the station. "" Um, you're right. So, I'm here because of your confession that you ... "She sighed as she interrupted him:" Josh, I'm sorry, it’s the best you forget what I said. I know ..." He interrupted her with a kiss and said softly" No, you don‘t know. Dora, I've been thinking about what you said yesterday. And I've become aware that it is the same with me. The only thing that kept me from thinking about a relationship, was that nobody want me with my blindness, anyway. You are a wonderful person and so loving. I don‘t want to miss you anymore. I don‘t want to imagine a life without you. And if you still want, I'm completely yours." Silence filled the room and Josh panicked. "Dora, are you okay?" He asked uncertainly into the stillness and tried to feel her out. He felt her body tremble and a soft sob subsided in the room. "Dora, have I done something wrong ..." This time it was her lips that touched his and he could feel her tears on his cheeks. He hugged her tight and lost himself in her scent of bergamot and roses.  
They would have liked to lie on the couch and would continue cuddling, but both knew that Josh had to go back to the unit for lunch. Dora accompanied him until Josh found the way by himself, and promised to wait for him until he finished his lunch. Before he left, he told her Tyler's message, which she accepted with a smile. When they were back home in the afternoon, Josh snuggled up to his girlfriend and they were forging plans for the future.  
Then Josh asked, "You're playing Ukulele?" Dora laughed and said, "Playing is exaggerated. I'd rather torture the instrument. Tyler would cry when he would hear me and see what I did with his ukulele. "" Oh, that's Tyler's ukulele? "" Yes. After his death nobody came to pick up his few belongings, so we should dispose his things. And it was a nonsense for me to throw this beautiful instrument away. She was the only one which Tyler really loved. And so I adopted her. "" Someday you have to play for me. "" Ah, Mister would like to be deaf, what? "Dora joked."No, I'm just fearless and take the risk" he joked back. She cried with a with a laugh: "Well wait, I gave you a reason to fear you!" And she began Josh to tickle.  
Josh returned to his room after dinner. He lay on the bed, his arms crossed behind his head, and replayed the day in his mind, as Tyler's fingers stroked a few strands of hair from his face. "Well, Romeo? Did you speak to Dora? "Josh grinned all over his face."Yes. "Tyler laughed and lay down on his bed."I guess, your conversation was successful, wasn‘t it?" Josh nodded. "Tell me Tyler, have you ever felt more for her than friendship?" "I've felt more for her but not in this attractive or sexual way. I've loved her for their way she is. " "Wow. "Why wow? "" Exactly the same thing she said about you - literally." „I said we understood each other. "" Oh, she has your ukulele, by the way. "" Really? "" Yes. She said you would cry when you hear her play because she's so bad." " Um, I don‘t think so. I'm really glad she saved my beloved instrument. "" I'll tell her. "" Do that, "Tyler said, cuddling up at Josh.  
When Josh was awakened the next morning by a carer, he told him that he had an appointment with the psychologist in the morning. 'It's a pity that the holidays are over' he thought to himself as he sent Dora a voice message that he couldn‘t come until afternoon. "Don‘t be annoyed" came back from her and "I'm already looking forward to you." In Josh's gut spread a sense of well-being, as he realized that since his accident, Dora was the first one who said this to him.  
When he found himself in the psychologist's office, he went straight on: "Now Mr. Dun, how did you pass the holidays?" "Well" he answered. " That's nice to hear. How do the drugs work? "" I think like they should. I cannot hear the voice of Tyler anymore "Josh lied. „This is very good. Now that we have fixed this and your weight is normal again, we should talk about your release date. "He felt panic rising as the psychologist continued," I have agreed with your family that it’s the best Best for you to move into a sheltered flat for blind people. "Josh was stunned. " Pardon?! My family and you?! And what about me? Even though I am blind, I still have the right to decide by myself about my life! Neither you nor my so-called family need to dare to decide above my head! "" I can understand your anger, Mr. Dun, but how do you will manage to do it alone? To run a household, or to do errands and appointments? "" And that is precisely the reason for your mistake. I am not alone!!! So you can forget, that I'm going to some sheltred flat. I don‘t want to go with that. "Josh got up and left the room.  
When he arrived at Dora in the afternoon, he was still pissed. "What happened?" She asked worried, and Josh burst out with the news like a volcano. "And do you know what the worst is? It is my own family, which is denying me any rights. As if you were just some sort of annoying object you'd like to get rid off without getting into a moral trap. "He finished his report and burst into tears.  
Dora hugged him and gently stroked his back. When she realized that he was slowly settling down, she whispered softly to his ear: "You know what? Anyone who simply slips someone as wonderful as you didn‘t deserve you. And do you know what else? You're a very rare piece of love with an immense value, and I'm glad to have found you, Jishwa. "" Thank you, "he said, pressing her closer to him. "I'm just wondering what to tell the psychologist when he asks me, who cares about me. I don‘t want to make you any trouble, and certainly not that you lose your job because of me. "Dora just shrugged and replied" Josh, tell him the truth. I am holding on to you. The moment they discharge you, it doesn‘t matter anymore, you were a patient here. And if they really mean to fire me for the few days that you are still here, then they should. The clinic is not the only one in Columbus where I can work. "  
Dora cooked them a tea and they cuddled on the couch. While Josh was playing with Doras hair, he said, "Oh, I'm going to tell you something about Tyler. He said he would not cry when he heard you play. But he's crying with joy that you saved his beloved ukulele." „Well ... "she said,"then tell our special friend that he would cry. He would cry, you would cry; Then I would cry... that would be too much drama, "she waved her hand, laughing. Then she became serious and said, "I'd like to help him, Jishwa." He hugged her closer and said, "I do, too. We've talked about it, by the way. "" Really? Is he aware of a possibility? "" He thought that a soul who died of a natural death would have compassion for him and take him with them. I told him I'd do it. "" Of course I do, too. Tell him about me. "" I'll do it, "Josh replied, kissing her forehead. When it was time to return to the unit, he said goodbye with a heavy heart.  
Shortly after Josh came through the front door, he was approached by his psychologist in the hallway. "Mr. Dun on a word. "He nodded. "I ordered you to be released next Friday. Because you refuse to go to the flat, I need to know where you will stay and who will look after you when you say you are not alone. "" Sister Dora will take care of me. We are a couple recently. And the address I cannot give you yet, as we are still looking for a flat for us. "The psychologist gasped and Josh would have liked to see his face at that moment. "Well ... well that are amazing news" the men stammered, who was obviously struggling to catch up. "Well, I'll change a few words with Sister Dora, tomorrow." "Do that" Josh replied, leaving the psychologist alone.  
When he entered his room, the family smell of carnations and sandalwood greeted him. "Tyler?" Josh asked in the silence oft he room. He felt a cool breath and was hugged by Tyler. "Good to see you back." Josh heard the sadness in his friend's voice and asked worried: "Is everything all right?" "You're going to be released, right?" "Yes, next Friday." "I don‘t want to lose you "Tyler confessed and began to tremble. "You will not lose me," his friend assured him. "I cannot leave the clinic. I'm just coming till the nursing home hardly. "" Tyler, nothing will stop me from visiting you at the pond. And Dora will definitely come with me. We will not forget you. You are a part of us. By the way, she said she'd take you over as well, when it's time. Tyler, we'll always be there for you. And by then, we'll meet at the pond. "" Promise? "" Promised.  
This time Josh cuddled to Tyler as they lay in bed and gently stroked his hair until he got tired, put his arm around his upper body and fell asleep.  
"Good morning, sunshine," he heard Doras voice, which gently kissed him awake. "Morn" he muttered and stretched himself. Dora laughed and asked, "Would you give me your hand?" Josh blinked, "Um, no common apartment yet but want to marry me?! Fast go, sister Dora“ he said teasingly. Without warning, a fine water mist hits him and he squeaked. "Someone needs to cool down, don‘t you? Today I need your hand only to measure the blood glucose. "She laughed and he felt a stitch in the index finger."Ouch" he moaned exaggerated. "You were quite brave," she teased, giving him a kiss on the cheek before she left his room again.  
When Josh walked down the hall after breakfast, he heard voices from the nursing room. "Dora, I'm disappointed with you that you acted so unprofessional" he heard the voice of the psychologist. "Well, this is probably in the eye of the beholder" came as an answer. "You know I have no choice but to dismiss you?" "If you think you have only this option, you have to do it." "Dora, don‘t make yourself unhappy. Do you really want to lose your work and the apartment at the same time because of Mr. Dun? "" If you ask me so, yes. "" Well, then your employment ends with the discharging of Mr. Dun. "" All right "she replied and walked into the hallway, where she'd met with Josh. "I cannot believe it," he said, bewildered. "I'm sorry Dora that I'm causing you such problems." "She leaned forward and whispered in his ear "You know what: I’m not sorry "and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
When Josh entered his room, Tyler said, "The psychologist is an ass. But he‘s always been. "Josh nodded" I had the same impression since our first meeting." Both of them went into the garden and talked. When they arrived at the pond, they sat down on their bench and enjoyed the silence for a while.  
"Do you know how it goes on for you?" Tyler asked. "No" Josh admitted. "The fact is, I cannot really do much. The load is completely on Doras shoulders and a part of me wonders if I really have the right to load them so." "I think there is your mistake. She doesn‘t see it as a burden, "argued his friend."Um, but in a relationship you should carry difficult situations together." Tyler sighed, took Josh in the arm and replied, "Josh you fool, have you ever thought about, that you give her something more with your love? That you can balance everything? "" Ppf, you’re a fool, too. Aside from being right, since when do you have romantic attitudes? "" You both convinced me "he joked.  
The two of them spent the afternoon cradling in Josh's room. When it was just before supper, suddenly a turmoil broke out on the station. They heard screams and people panicking down the hall. "Damn, what's going on?" Josh asked with fear in his voice, and made an effort to swing his legs from the bed to find the cause of the excitement. Tyler tried to hold him back, "Josh stay here, that's not a good sign." But his friend was already through the door. It was quiet in the hallway. A whim was heard from afar. Josh ran after the sound. His heart pounded wildly in his chest. He wanted to find Dora. When he came into the TV room, someone suddenly pushed him aside, so he fell to the ground. At the same time, he heard Dora's voice whisper, "Josh, get out. Hide in your room." Even before he could ask why, he heard her voice again, but not talking to him. "Miles, you're safe here; Please remove the scalpel."He suddenly realized that one of the patients was running Amok. Even before he had the chance to get back on his feet, he heard a rumbling and shortly thereafter he heard something hurled against the wall. A groan faded in the room and seconds later he heard a tear, followed by several dull blows and painful moaning. Josh jumped to the source of the noise. He groped forward as fast as he could, and finally found a clothed body in a corner of the room. "Dora?" He whispered softly. At first he got a groan to answer, but then "Josh get out of here, please." Her voice was trembling and barely audible. He put his hand on her upper body and felt her warm blood running over it. "Dora hold on, don‘t leave me alone," he pleaded. "I'm not leaving you alone" she whispered, and he heard her breathing become more difficult.  
Neither of them noticed Miles was still in the room. His attack came quite suprising for Josh as he felt several strong stitches in the side and back. The last two of them hits him in the chest. Within seconds he couldn‘t breathe properly anymore and broke down on Dora's body, which was laying still. He reached for her hand and just before he lost consciousness, he heard gun shots whip through the room.

It was dark. So, so dark. So massive, you could touch it. Josh was alone - and he was afraid. No matter where he turned to, only this heavy darkness surrounded him. He began to cry. But between his sobbing he could suddenly hear something. From very far away someone called something. He began to move in this direction. The closer he came, the better he could understand what was being called, and finally he recognized Doras voice calling for him. He began to run and a short time later, he saw a dull light and two shadows waving. When he reached her, he became fully aware that he could really see her. He wasn’t blind, no longer! Tyler was taller than he was. His dark brown hair was a mess. The dark-brown eyes glowed like tiny suns and his elegant nose and delicate lips rounded off his presence. Dora had blue-gray eyes and her hair was copperblond. They both smiled at him affectionately and Dora said, "There you are. Now we are all together.“He hugged her and Tyler. Then they took them by the hands and turned to the light.


End file.
